[dear] ___,
i appreciate your thoughtful and sincere attempt to advise me on my conduct with relations. however, i have already pointed out to you that i had already apologized to R___ for what happened 4 years ago over and over and over again. and i noticed a misinterpretation in your analysis of what i emailed to R___ initially the other day which i paraphrased to you. you said:
"He didn't want to think about you and he didn't know what to say to you when he did think about it."
that was not the acquittal of R___ that i offered him. rather, i said that he was having problems applying his native language, 1, and 2: he wasn't thinking about his OWN feelings much at all (and subtextually i implied that this went for his other relations).
this is just silliness to talk on and on about childish emotional motives or fears that mature adults should be able to get over. the real issue is (1) cultural narcotism, and (2) the modern degeneration/erosion of the English language. it's very simple. and no, i do not understand why people would flush the most sacred element of their ancestral heritage -- their native language -- down the toilet. and no, no, no: i see NO EXCUSE for it and it DISGUSTS me. when people are shamelessly ineloquent and proudly speak like dope-shooters ["chill out, man"] as a response to plain English with unmisinterpretable meaning, it fries my brain and baits me. [This author had responded to R___'s "chill" command with a string of obscenities -- which yet illuminated nevertheless(!).] well, oh well.
******? well, guess what? i still think less of her to this day for calling my mortal, soulful expression of merely "longing for love" -- she called it "thinking too much" and "philosophy"! that was grossly offensive -- black. frankly, it was tantamount to blasphemy.
if people want my respect, then they ought to speak English. plain and simple. that is NOT a tall order, and whoever thinks it is is a sell-out and can go to hell and find some enlightenment there.
finally, R___ IS INDEED OFF THE HOOK. he has become both a worm and a monster. i want nothing to do with him. the man is dangerous and poisonous to one's basic self-respect.
NOW, AS FOR US: i repeat, i am very sorry about the pain i have caused you, ___. anytime you want to discuss your personal, residual demons concerning our past affairs, i am available.
take care. cincinnati prevails.
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