"YES-MEN and NO-MEN"
[S&B fans, note that this email derives its purpose in part from what might be regrettable about the hotness of the tone of the exchange shared on Smoke and Bounce titled "YOUNG FOOL: HOW HUMILATION HELPS HIM" (11:22 pm EST, April 12, 2013). I suppose I am here trying to redeem what you all might see as a bit too much contrarianism in that exchange. I am attempting a redemption of it indeed, but I in no way apologize for it. Thank you.]
dear K____,
i've been discussing our exchange this past week to my father. i think it's appropriate that this be an email with a new subject line [a white flag], because i want to start fresh with you. there's a number of things i want to say to you to draw a truce, and it's not because i want to negate completely what either of us have already said, however right and wrong we think our-self and the other respectively is.
k____, every young man with your potential goes through a phase in development during which he wants to be free of error. i was the same way, and i still am desiring that; that's natural. but over the years i've come to learn that people in general around me tend to WANT to affirm me always whether i'm right or wrong. throughout my life, 99% of people have told me that i'm extraordinarily intelligent, and the very bad side of that is that they usually don't argue against me on account of their perception of that. i imagine that they probably believe i'm "on the right track" well enough already, and that they don't need to be part of the process of facilitating my personal development; maybe they believe God will affect me and challenge me all by himself, and not require their agency. but i look back now at my life and wish that there had been more adamant "no-men" and less charitable "yes-men" among the people i encountered. in fact, i count myself lucky to have you in my life, because you yourself are most definitely one of the former. believe me, i appreciate your participation in my development.
how would you REALLY wish me to be, k____? would you really WANT me to be a yes-man? i could tell you stories, man, about how evil people like that can be. true, some yes-men genuinely respect you, but other yes-men are charitable as a means of deceiving you until you are vulnerable and they can take advantage of you. a human predator, of any sort -- his primary weapon of murder and rape is insincerity. those sort of yes-men are indeed out there, and there are even entire businesses, institutions and industries who will readily supply you with a sociological model of that predation if you can critique them as a skeptic. you have repeatedly challenged my stance and perspectives, beliefs and conclusions as too cranky to be taken seriously. maybe you're giving me some very useful advice, k____, and i thank you, but if i do attempt to de-radicalize my mission, it will be a fairly glacial process, because my past afflictions besides my ego have induced me to be extremely protective of what integrity my spirit has left.
my MAIN POINT, k____: ask yourself if you trust a man who insults you, and maybe i have insulted you. do you trust that man to at least BE that man? what could you conclude that i "want" FROM YOU? i'll try to answer that; i'll take a stab at it, and you can take it or leave it, sir -- i want your EMPOWERMENT. that's what i've ALWAYS wanted, k____. SINCE THE VERY BEGINNING. and though i won't be so slimy as to discuss why i think you trust ME to be NEIL rather than a snake, i'll say that i don't have one bloody regret about this past exchange, and i'm going to continue to be a cocksure, "douche-baggish" no-man to you whenever the fuck it suits me, because i speak no other man's intentions or beliefs than my own. the reality of your having read this far in this email alone, would lead me to assume that you trust me LESS now -- guess what? YOU SHOULD TRUST ME LESS AT THIS VERY MOMENT! but i sure as hell hope that my open disdain of your flagrant immaturity compromises that distrust. and i'm ready to continue the war, because it's exactly what you need regardless of the trust factor.
go to hell. all the best.
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